Creating Happiness

Creating Happiness






Happiness has been defined as that feeling of pleasure. Happiness is a natural thing that takes place when both the brain and heart are satisfied. We are not happy when there is dissatisfaction within us. May be we are not happy with the salary we receive or with the situation of our country. Various problems like load shedding, pressure of studies, examinations create dissatisfaction within us. Satisfaction arises only when everything goes the way we want it to… You are right! These are all theoretical things!

But there are ways to create happiness if we learn how to. The first thing we need to understand about happiness is that it is a state of both the mind and emotion. When one is sure one must do one’s job, what’s the benefit of trying to avoid it? If a person learns to love his job, there is less chance of him or her feeling dissatisfied with it. If a student learns to love his book, he will obviously not find studies a burden.

It is necessary to understand that there is a difference between worrying about a problem and working to solve it. Even when we know this, we worry! It may not be possible to work to solve a problem all the time. But there are ways to minimise one’s worries.

Try flying a kite at such a time, the higher the kite reaches, the less one’s worries. Focusing on good things makes us feel great, excited, energised and enthusiastic. So, it will not be a bad idea to dedicate some of our time to being with nature to relieve us of our tension.

Research has shown that a pet helps to reduce tension also. Other ways of minimising tension is listening to music. They say music is the medicine for the heart. The right music at the right time will definitely minimise tension.

There is dissatisfaction as soon as our aim takes a wrong direction. A businessman, for example, will never be happy if he tries to become a singer if does not have the talent. Also, no matter how successful his business is, there will always be a germ of dissatisfaction within him. This will result in frustration, which might give rise to smoking and drinking habits.

Aim at happiness and make happiness our goal. If you are interested in art, go for it! Don’t worry about whether there is scope in it or not. Don’t be tensed over whether you can make a living out of it.

In brief, happiness appears from being satisfied Let’s learn to accept what we are and be satisfied with what we have. Trouble, tension, worries are the substances that act as hindrances in being satisfied.


PUBLISHED IN THE RISING NEPAL AUGUST 2010
http://www.gorkhapatra.org.np/rising.detail.php?article_id=38881&cat_id=7

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Teej traditions

Teej traditions



No one can deny the fact that we are rich in culture. Whether it features animal sacrifice or fasting, we have many different ways to celebrate festivals. We have different kinds of festivals like the festival of colors (Holi) and the festival of sacrifice (Dashain). Each festival has its own significance and its own features.

Each fall, women get excited and eagerly wait for Teej—wearing a red sari with the long gold ‘tilhari’ attached seems wonderful for sure. And it’s certainly fun to watch Teej songs and dances. Teej is a wonderful festival except for a few facts. First, the festival is made only for married women. Although unmarried girls are also involved, to focus of women celebrating Teej is to pray for the longevity of their husband’s life. Has anyone given thought to the cases of young widows at such a time? At the time when the entire community, friends, and relatives are dancing and wishing a good future for their husband, what might be the widow be doing? When festivals are meant for all, why does Teej feature such discrimination? If she even appears at celebration she will be cursed. Though women should be able to understand other women, somehow all is forgotten at this critical time.

Another criticism of Teej is in regards to the trend of fasting. Staying hungry without food or a drop of water is no joke. I wonder if anywhere in the Hindu holy book it has mentioned that such fasting will lead to longer lives for their husbands. Cultural practices are nothing more than constructed beliefs we have been following from generations past. Just think, if you are fasting, your daughter will obviously try to follow in the same manner, and so will your granddaughter. If you are the senior female member of your family, if you introduce the system of drinking lemon water mixed with tulsi powder it would be a great relief to your generation for sure.

There are cases of women fainting during the festival of Teej. So my question is, without any proven reason for refraining from eating throughout the day, why should women blindly follow such a hard and fast rule with such threats to their health? And although Teej should bring women together, the jewellery and costumes of the day highlight the gap between the rich and the poor. Special programmes draw a boundary line between the rich and the poor, and can make those unable to afford the nicest dress insecure. Festivals are meant for all; we shouldn’t let the ornaments of the

festival create discrimination during the time of celebration.

It is society and humans that create cultural practices and keep them alive. Teej is certainly a wonderful festival. Limited fasting from time to time can keep us healthy, but it shouldn’t be done out of the belief that it will help our husbands. Let’s join hands to get rid of these unnecessary parts of Teej so that the upcoming generation won’t criticise our backwards practices.


PUBLISHED IN THE KATHMANDU POST (AUG 18 2010)
http://www.ekantipur.com/the-kathmandu-post/2010/08/17/oped/teej-traditions/211708/

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Examination Phobia

Examination Phobia






Student life would probably be the best if there were to be no examinations. They are the only burden or trouble in a student’s life. An examination is seen as an essential evil - essential because there is no single universal way to grade a student, and evil because it troubles students a lot.

We have been sitting for examinations since we were in our nursery classes, but still our hairs turn up when we have to give one. The reason being that we become afraid and nervous with anxiety.

We have the habit of keeping our work pending, and when the time comes to do it, we find that it’s too late. And we rush to finish it in a hurry. And this spoils the curry. This gives rise to inappropriate studying techniques, which divert us from the real goal. The confidence level goes down, and there is a huge pressure on us, which we call nervousness.

No matter how talented one is, it’s common for him or her to face difficulties before the examination. This is because of the habit that tells the student: Oh come on! I still have a complete month before the exams. Since students become conscious only a week or a fortnight before the exams, they suddenly find themselves in deep water.

Out of the hundreds of causes of anxiety, forgetfulness is one. It is not because of our brain that we forget but because we don’t give enough exercise to our brain on a regular basis. The fear of punishment is equally to blame. Improper learning techniques also pose a serious obstacle to our studying process. Lack of self-confidence might also be another reason.

There is a simple principle for learning:

1. I hear – I forget

2. I see – I remember

3. I do – I understand

Now, most of us belong to the first and second categories because we simply hear, but don’t listen when the teacher explains in class. Listening is putting our entire focus on hearing and storing it in our mind. Secondly, we see books - we see every line, but we do not read it. Reading is seeing and storing the facts in our mind. And finally, to do here means to listen and read to give the best output. This principle helps us build our reading or studying habits.

In brief, the condition when we start sweating and feel the mind go blank before the examinations and get tensed on seeing the questions is true exam phobia. A precaution for this is to concentrate on one’s study in time. And the best thing we can do during the examination is not to watch others take the exam because this only makes us more nervous.


PUBLISHED IN THE RISING NEPAL AUG 12
http://www.gorkhapatra.org.np/detail.php?article_id=38383&cat_id=7

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What’s Wrong With My Name?

What’s Wrong With My Name?



It’s yours but is used by others – your name.

I am often told, "You need to change your name! It’s really hard to pronounce it."

I had no hand in naming myself so, and I never have any problem with my name. The only problem I face - and continue to face - is that I turn crimson everytime I have to introduce myself. This is because people don’t get my name the first time, and a huge laughter follows.

I am not depressed when people pronounce my name wrong, instead I feel sympathy for them. Many of them ask me what my name stands for. Only about two out of a hundred pronounce my name correctly. I am proud of this unique name and want to thank my late grandfather for naming me so.

When I was 13, I used to wonder if I was the only one with this name in the universe. But I was excited to learn that there were quite a few with my name in India and Bangladesh.

Having a long unique name is troublesome when you have to introduce yourself to others as many cannot understand or memorise it in one go. The other problem you may face is when engraving your name on a key ring. If you are a player, the problem could appear while preparing a jersey. And, for those who mind, your name can give rise to various nicknames, as in my case like Dahi Pan, Dahi Pani, Dahi Pan Parag, Dahi Bada.


But the best part of having a unique name is you really don’t need your last name to identify yourself. Once people get your first name, they hardly forget it. You receive lots of love through nicknames. If you are a guy, there will be plenty of girls who will tease you with the name.

When I was in school, I never wanted to get promoted to the next class simply because of my name. My new teacher would never get my name the first time I said it. And all my friends would wait to make fun of me. This made me nervous, and my face turned red.

But today I find it wonderful that these old friends, whom I have not seen or met for the last ten years, still remember me and say, "Man! It’s great to find your writing in the papers!" Wow! What could be a greater compliment than this? At a time when they don’t even remember the names of other class mates, they recognise me.

PUBLISHED IN THE RISING NEAL (AUG 2)

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