Is marriage a private affair?

Is marriage a private affair?



Is marriage a private affair? My teacher asked whole class before teaching

the lesson. 'Marriage is a private affair' by Chinua Achebe. Few guys said

from the back, Yes it is! I shouted Nah! It is not. How can it be private

affair? What is there so private in marriage? If you talk about the talks

among the couple, s haring of ideas or the key of the safe...yes it is! They

are the private stuffs for obvious. But beside that? Are you talking about

the sexual stuffs? Oh...Come on! Every couple will have it. I claimed.

Marriage is a social relation where the couple needs to be accepted by the

family and society. If not...why is there gathering at the marriage

ceremony? Why has the system of printing cards existed? Living with a girl

far from the society in isolation is not a marriage for me. That is simply

spending life for here. Marriage no way can be limited to husband and wife.

Parents, in laws or even the children comes down which never lets marriage

to be private. Further, one of my classmates explained the necessity of two

proof even at the time of court marriage which showed that marriage is not a

private affair, at least in the context of Nepal.



However there existed few of my classmate who explained that

marriage a private stuff. At the ending of the chapter my teacher explained

that the question will always remain within us as a controversy and e will

be asking the question throughout our life time. However he concluded the

chapter, telling his love story where even after 12 years of his love

affair, he had to leave the girl just for the sake of his family! And the

reason was because it was inter caste. Not just story of my teacher even my

friend had to leave the girl just because she was not of her caste. And how

can I stop mentioning my friend's who still fear if caste would turn

obstacle there. If there was family, no society inter caste marriage would

be a big deal. But however literate we are, however modernize we turn, and

however scientific we get and what so ever be the generation we still look

for the caste. If a girl gets proposal from her class mate, before rejecting

or accepting she once thinks of caste. Even if guy, if his love is serious,

he will only propose after considering her caste. Education, job, family

background has still been unable to come before caste!



Government's policy to reward inter caste marriage is a drop of

support in a huge ocean. There are several examples in our society when a

couple gets married, family rejects and the couple turns to live happily.

But staying away from the society, family somehow and at sometime will

definitely memorize the society and family.



So what is marriage? Private affair? How?



Yes! Marriage need to be private affair all around the world but the case is

not there! Initiating the change is difficult to dare! In the family and in

the society! Considering all these facts, I shouted No! Marriage is

definitely not a private affair, at least in case of Nepal. Try to be

practical and ask the question to yourself, Is marriage a private affair?