Children often make a fuss before school in the morning, some even going so far as to feign illness to get out of class. But parents need to consider the problem seriously—perhaps the child has made some sort of mistake that he doesn’t want to face up to, or perhaps someone is bullying him. Or maybe there is a larger, more complex issue at hand. Whatever the case, much can be achieved by a little bit of probing and a lot of understanding on the part of mum and dad. Although you might think it a phenomenon unique to your home, school phobia is extremely common among children.
There are a lot of pressures burdening kids today, even when they might seem carefree and cheerful on the outside. While there are of course the usual qualms of not being able to catch up in their classes, and disliking certain teachers, it is fitting in with their peers that forms a particularly significant part of their growing experience, and problems in this area—suppose they find they have nothing in common with their classmates and haven’t been able to make friends—can translate to a heavy aversion towards school. You therefore need to watch keenly for signs of such anti-social behaviour, in the house and outside. Of course, even when you do identify the issue, there
is only so far you can go to help them, either by talking to the teachers or other parents, but it is still something.
Broadly speaking, the general environment of the school, the child’s dynamics with his classmates and the stress of studies are the basic reasons why school can seem like a nightmare for many. And while you might feel helpless when a child expresses disinterest in getting on a bus and going to class, perhaps parents and teachers could try a few things first.
Schools need to support programs that nurture self-confidence in students by pointing out and encouraging their strengths while providing opportunities for them to excel at what they have an aptitude for. While assignments need to be of a certain standard, perhaps there should be a means of judging each student’s academic skills and customising the workload around that. As for what can be done at home, parents should refrain from making too many exciting plans at home during days when school is in session, and instead encourage
their children to socialise to the best of their abilities with people outside of their home, so they take those social skills with them to school. Parents must also maintain a friendly rapport with teachers and other parents to create a supportive network of sorts.
What we must remember is that our kids are fragile, impressionable beings and underneath those chirpy exteriors, they are susceptible to a lot of psychological forces that pull them in various directions, but they might not always know how to ask for help. So consider school phobia a warning sign and the next time your child whines about class, instead of yelling at him, try to first get him to talk to you about what exactly he dislikes so much about school. Perhaps a door will open somewhere.
There are a lot of pressures burdening kids today, even when they might seem carefree and cheerful on the outside. While there are of course the usual qualms of not being able to catch up in their classes, and disliking certain teachers, it is fitting in with their peers that forms a particularly significant part of their growing experience, and problems in this area—suppose they find they have nothing in common with their classmates and haven’t been able to make friends—can translate to a heavy aversion towards school. You therefore need to watch keenly for signs of such anti-social behaviour, in the house and outside. Of course, even when you do identify the issue, there
is only so far you can go to help them, either by talking to the teachers or other parents, but it is still something.
Broadly speaking, the general environment of the school, the child’s dynamics with his classmates and the stress of studies are the basic reasons why school can seem like a nightmare for many. And while you might feel helpless when a child expresses disinterest in getting on a bus and going to class, perhaps parents and teachers could try a few things first.
Schools need to support programs that nurture self-confidence in students by pointing out and encouraging their strengths while providing opportunities for them to excel at what they have an aptitude for. While assignments need to be of a certain standard, perhaps there should be a means of judging each student’s academic skills and customising the workload around that. As for what can be done at home, parents should refrain from making too many exciting plans at home during days when school is in session, and instead encourage
their children to socialise to the best of their abilities with people outside of their home, so they take those social skills with them to school. Parents must also maintain a friendly rapport with teachers and other parents to create a supportive network of sorts.
What we must remember is that our kids are fragile, impressionable beings and underneath those chirpy exteriors, they are susceptible to a lot of psychological forces that pull them in various directions, but they might not always know how to ask for help. So consider school phobia a warning sign and the next time your child whines about class, instead of yelling at him, try to first get him to talk to you about what exactly he dislikes so much about school. Perhaps a door will open somewhere.
PUBLISHED IN THE KATHMANDU POST WITH CO-WRITER KEN SUBEDI (DEC 03, 2011)
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