Is marriage a private affair?

Is marriage a private affair?



Is marriage a private affair? My teacher asked whole class before teaching

the lesson. 'Marriage is a private affair' by Chinua Achebe. Few guys said

from the back, Yes it is! I shouted Nah! It is not. How can it be private

affair? What is there so private in marriage? If you talk about the talks

among the couple, s haring of ideas or the key of the safe...yes it is! They

are the private stuffs for obvious. But beside that? Are you talking about

the sexual stuffs? Oh...Come on! Every couple will have it. I claimed.

Marriage is a social relation where the couple needs to be accepted by the

family and society. If not...why is there gathering at the marriage

ceremony? Why has the system of printing cards existed? Living with a girl

far from the society in isolation is not a marriage for me. That is simply

spending life for here. Marriage no way can be limited to husband and wife.

Parents, in laws or even the children comes down which never lets marriage

to be private. Further, one of my classmates explained the necessity of two

proof even at the time of court marriage which showed that marriage is not a

private affair, at least in the context of Nepal.



However there existed few of my classmate who explained that

marriage a private stuff. At the ending of the chapter my teacher explained

that the question will always remain within us as a controversy and e will

be asking the question throughout our life time. However he concluded the

chapter, telling his love story where even after 12 years of his love

affair, he had to leave the girl just for the sake of his family! And the

reason was because it was inter caste. Not just story of my teacher even my

friend had to leave the girl just because she was not of her caste. And how

can I stop mentioning my friend's who still fear if caste would turn

obstacle there. If there was family, no society inter caste marriage would

be a big deal. But however literate we are, however modernize we turn, and

however scientific we get and what so ever be the generation we still look

for the caste. If a girl gets proposal from her class mate, before rejecting

or accepting she once thinks of caste. Even if guy, if his love is serious,

he will only propose after considering her caste. Education, job, family

background has still been unable to come before caste!



Government's policy to reward inter caste marriage is a drop of

support in a huge ocean. There are several examples in our society when a

couple gets married, family rejects and the couple turns to live happily.

But staying away from the society, family somehow and at sometime will

definitely memorize the society and family.



So what is marriage? Private affair? How?



Yes! Marriage need to be private affair all around the world but the case is

not there! Initiating the change is difficult to dare! In the family and in

the society! Considering all these facts, I shouted No! Marriage is

definitely not a private affair, at least in case of Nepal. Try to be

practical and ask the question to yourself, Is marriage a private affair?

Read more ...

Making best use of TV time

' So please, Oh Please, we beg, we pray,

Go throw your TV set away,

And in it's place you can install

A lovely bookshelf on the wall'


-Ronald Dahl



How many hours do you spend watching this idiot box? I used to watch atleast two-three hours everyday when I was at my home. Today, I am away from my home. I miss almost everything's out there but not that TV set. I never knew what was so exciting there that took my hours of time. I could never understand it's idioit-ity when I was in front of it. Today, I realize and prefer calling it 'time consuming box'.

Lot of readers reading it maybe calling me mad by this time. But when one gets serious and thinks, my feelings might get a lot of support. I read newspapers these days instead of watching TV and have atleast learned how to write. I listen to radio instead of watching TV. Reading newspapers, I have developed my writing skill, listening radio I have saved my time. Yes! I have to remain mum when they talk about 'Tito Satya' or 'Meri Bassei'; but feel proud when I realize that I have at least saved 30 minutes of my time.

The lines above requests to avoid TV completely, There really exists lots of disadvantages when we try to compare with advantages. First is that, watching TV spoils the capacity of eye. Or it damages the eye power. Secondly, it develops addiction. Thirdly it kills time. Fourthly it kills the creativity. Regarding the first con's, watching TV for a long time damages the eyes of various adults and basically of child. It kills time!

There is not any necessity to explain it. A serial gets ended either after she opens the door or when she is taken to hospital and doctor about to speak. This factor compels to watch the next episode, which  develops addiction within the viewers. Again, it removes the creative thinking ability when we are shown how monster looks, we don't even try to use our brain to think it's physical outlook. This ultimately kills the creativity.


I don't mean to say like Dahl, to throw your TV set. But to develop some good qualities, improve studies it's highly essential to be choosy at the time of watching TV. Various informational shows, news will definitely improve our knowledge and make it wide. Going through entertaining shows will make us refreshed for sure. But after all, it depends on us regarding how we will take it. At the present context it's necessary to utilize three-fourth of the time in some creative activities rather than watching TV. You can go and watch three idiots but it's not necessary to watch the song of three idiots every time it comes to MTV or Channel V.

PUBLISHED IN THE RISING NEPAL OF MAY 10 2010

Read more ...

INTEREST COUNTS

Interest Counts



Are you bored of your job? Do you want to avoid your job? Or how often do you try to escape from your work place? Do you spend your time in making different excuses for staying absent?


If it is so, do you have any justificable reason? One reason for hating your work is that you really dont want to do the job. That is you are or were never interested in that job. Well, the main reason for me to say it is that I miss my job today. It was for year I worked in FM station as an RJ. I always dreamed of being a celebraty and getting somewhere in the media. May be because of my inner interest, I not only worked as an RJ but also did the task of preparing advertisements, mixing and editing jingles. And the best part was I always enjoyed it. I also had the desire to read news, but in that short period of time I could not do that task. I hardly cared for the salary but I worked with full interest as speaking in radio was part of my aim. I had to stay away from that best part because

 I had to continue my studies and had to leave my home town. I dont remember other things there
but I badly miss the FM station, the mike, the chair and the entire environment. I still seek for vacancies in FM station, but fail to get it as a part time one. Poor me!

I am not sure if all the job holders feel the same way or not. But I believe 'if right person are placed in the right time at the right place' obviously the output will still be much fruitful as the organization will get truely dedicated staffs. A person having inner interest to work in medical line can never perform better than medical field when he is kept as an accountant and paid even more. And such case will bring negative output to both individual and organization.

First duty of an individual is to identify what he really wants to do tommorow. He has to recognize his personal interest, desire and his wants. He then should be able to convey it to his near and dear ones including his family members. Family members and friends should equally support him. Country at this time require truely dedicated staffs. A doctor should be true doctor who studied MBBS for himself taking it as his passion not as per the desire of his parents. Only then the field of doctory will turn to be
effective.

Sharing my view, I had the true desire to work in media. I worked and today I am out of it. I don’t know where I will work tommorow but I am sure my enthuasism will always be there for the job of RJ. Through my one year experience, all I got to understand is that when one is truly dedicated towards the job from the inner heart, he works to his fullest. If anyone out there doubts, close your eyes and find your interest and rush for it and measure the enthusiasm.

PUBLISHED IN THE RISING NEPAL ON MAY 6

Read more ...

Walking in Banda

Walking in Banda



Being a Nepali it's not a huge thing to ace Banda, time and again. What do you do on this day? I simply stay at my room, go through my course studies and get updated with the news. But this time, I thought of doing something extra.

As I was on the capital this time, I thought of making visit round the valley. So with the purpose to visit embassy, to get known about the various scholarship programmes, I with my friends got set to walk. We first went to Nepal Tourism Board to get the map. There were hundreds of agitators sitting on the road, busy eating as if they were enjoying picnic. Then, our legs moved towards Ratnapark, where there was a huge gathering and the agitators were dancing below the air bridge. 'What a scene!' Not just we guys, but even the tourist must have been thinking and that's why they were clicking photo. Our legs gradually moved towards Durbar Marg which indeed as so silent! Nothing beside the crowd of agitators existed. Young people carrying flag were walking who seemed were having loads of fun. What qualification had he gained? And is he well informed about why is he agitating? Then we reached in front of Durbar, where I asked if king would be there, we might at least not see this day.

Slowly, we headed towards Lazimpath after visiting Indian, British, Canadian, French Embassy. There the agitators showed their real character.They shouted when the van of police passed their way with some vulgar words. Ah! Aren't those police there for security? What enmity were they showing? And when a teen girl passed through the crowd, the crowd was shouting teasing the girl. This ultimately led me to think that all those idiot fellows exists in the party who have nothing to do with their real life. We were searching for Finland embassy looking the map when our minds bugged up! We were shocked to figure
out that the embassy has been shifted to Bishalnagar. Oh! So why's there the mistake? My friend asked! Umm...In Big Places, such minor things are common...was my reply! No matter where ever it is, we still walked when we got to see PM's resident. Ah! What a beautiful place, what a beautiful street!

Why the road out of PM's residence and other streets in valley had such difference? Is it that only PM requires a neat place to live in? Then, after drinking a cup of tea we again started walking. Walking in Kathmandu for the people who are from out of capital was a separate fun for obvious. I would never walk for such a long distance spending such a huge time if I was in my hometown, All of us accepted that walking in Kathmandu was full of fun. And trust me! Walk with your friends at the time of Banda, you will really not just have fun but also get to learn many things.

Read more ...

Indianized Nepalese

Indianized Nepalese

Starting the day with Colgate, watching Aaj Tak as early news, cooking the foold in Hawkinn's Pressure Cooker, Dressing up with Auml vest, moving to office in Hero Honda, coming back early to watch if India wins or lose against Sri Lanka and ending the day with Star news!

Isn't the case of almost every Nepalese the same who live in so called towns and cities? Still on the local buses traveling within the valley and outside the valley we get to hear the Indian Songs! Young boys prefer Katrina Kaif instead of Jharna Bajracharya, and girls rush after Sahid Kapor and get's shocked hearing the name of Aryan Sigdel. Not just in young generation, even the generation ahead salutes Dharmendra and is unknown about anyone called Sunil Thapa in Nepal. Paras Khadka would definitely sound odd when the cricket lovers there stay talking about Yubraj Singh. However we love calling our self Nepali!

What can be the reason that India is having such a huge impact on Nepalese society? Umm...a simple answer maybe India is our neighboring country, if so we have China as our neighboring country too. Or is it because our leaders have huge influence of Indian leaders so we have it?

It's true that Nepal has got connection with India since the early time as Buddha went to India, Sita got married with India (umm....thinking of today even Bipana Thapa did). But we possess our own identity! We protest when Indian actor something against Nepal, and tear the posters when Indian movie claim something against Nepal's sovereignty!

Analyzing the reasons, we will definitely find our weakness. Why not to demand for Yamaha FZ instead of Annalifan? When FZ has more attracting features? Yes! In the similar manner, we are backward and being the neighbor India can easily take advantage of it. I am from the bordering town, my family goes across the boarder to buy sugar, as the cost varies of Rs 10 per kg across the boarder. If the product would price Rs 10 less, we would have bought it in the shop nearby itself. The unability of Nepalese
market to provide in similar price led us to go there. The latest cell phone, Nokia 2700 costs Rs 6500 there and it takes Rs 7500 in Nepali market. So why to waste Rs 1000? When I get same pre and post features.

On my way towards the boarder, there was written Aba Mobile Kinna Pari Janu Pardaina
(You don't have to go across the boarder to buy the cell phone). But Why?? Getting influenced is not a huge thing, but what may be the condition after hundred of years if Nepal remains in the same position? We cannot stay disconnected from India in any manner as we have to depend from Petrol to Utensil on them. It's difficult for us to compete with them however we can make an attempt to do it.

Losing with India in South Asian Games does not mean we are always back. See..we choose Sugam Pokharel instead of Falguni Pathak! So let's get aware and work. Let's not and never ask the question to ourself..Are we Indianized?

Read more ...

Addictive ads

-
Have you ever been attracted to or actually purchased products because of advertisements like this? Advertisements are a great source to ensure the success of a business. Without advertisements, we would have no idea all the different flavours of Horlicks that exist unless we went to the store to check for ourselves. Advertisements let consumers know when a new product has been launched into the market and they are often taken as a source of information as well.

Companies spend millions of rupees a year on advertisements, but has anyone seriously considered why? If a beverage company spends ten lakh rupees on one ad, and only one lakh of people pay attention to the ad, that means the firm is spending 10 rupees for each person. Through that 10 rupees, the ad can convince those people to purchase the product it is promoting. If it only costs three to five rupees for the production of one soft drink and they charge 20 rupees, even if 10 rupees has gone to advertising, there is still at least five rupees profit. And that is how business works.

I currently live in front of a school. From my window, I can clearly see the activities of students throughout the day. During tiffin, several children quickly rip open packets of noodles during the break to see the coupon waiting inside, while other students grudgingly eat the meal prepared by their mother that morning. The excitement of the students diving into the packages of noodles cannot be blamed on them, but it is clear that their excitement is influenced by the constant stream of noodle ads on television and ads plastered on every other building. Why should these children become the victims of those advertisements? And why don’t the other children appreciate the healthy meal prepared by their parents?

It is not the fault of businesses. They have every right to advertise their products to the masses. Nor can we blame the media. For the media, advertising is a primary source of income through which they stay afloat. If utilised fairly, advertisements can be beneficial to business firms, the media, and consumers, too.

Although it is the consumers’ responsibility to stay alert and wise in the process of selecting which products to purchase, there is a still need for control from all sides. For example, a programme on an FM station or on television should be longer than the advertisements. A one hour programme should not have 40 minutes of ads and 20 minutes of programming. Newspapers should consist of more news than advertisements. Business firms should try to give the actual reasons their product is the best and should be purchased, not misleading consumers with false statements. And citizens should boycott false advertisements.

As consumers, the one thing we should do is be aware. We should not run to purchase a brand of tea after hearing the slogan ‘mood change turuntai’. Nor should we attempt the things we see on the Mountain Dew commercial claiming “dar ko agadi jeet cha!" And we should not purchase a certain toothpaste under the impression of an ad that if we use that toothpaste, we will be able to attract a girl just by saying ‘talk to me!’

Published in The Kathmandu Post Post Platform; APR 06

Read more ...